Drink ‘Er Down: Fake Patty’s (Manhattan, KS)

Posted: March 14, 2011 in Bar
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

If you’ve never been to Fake Patty’s, you should add it to your “list of things to experience.” OK, I’ll preface that by saying it’s a huge college party. All ages are probably welcome, but it’s a mostly younger crowd. But it’s a drunken good time. And if you can get out of the event without crying, losing your cell phone, and with the same number of friends you started with, you can render it a success. The last three years I’ve gone, and decided not to go this year. However, at the last minute a few of us decided to head to Manhattan to get a little drop of green.

I love Fake (and un-fake) St. Patty’s Day! What’s not to like? A celebration of red heads, green beer, green shirts, artistic expression freedom of wardrobe, debauchery, good times. Right? Well, I hate to say that this year by the time we got to the bars we were at least 12 hours behind everyone who had been drinking since breakfast, and seeing the hot mess mostly sober was a sobering experience. Apparently if you drink all day, you don’t notice the people crying, how disgusting the bars are, or worse, the people laying on the sidewalks, probably within a fraction of a BAL point of their lives. But I don’t want that, or getting sworn at on the streets of Aggieville, to deter you from giving this event a shot.

Here are some of the best parts:

  • Day drinking. First of all, fun regardless of where you are. And after a long winter of being trapped indoors, this event is even more fun. Somehow, the day’s temperature is always comfortable. Of course, the warmth of the liquor probably helps.
  • Green pictures. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the resulting pictures from the day. A sea of green. That is, if you remember to take pictures….
  • Camaraderie and new friendships. I’m not the most outgoing person, but until the day spirals into the evening’s hot mess, you meet some great people. Everyone’s there to have a good time, and people are mostly friendly and patient waiting for their drinks.
  • Everything you need in one spot. Some events you have one bar, but then need to drive for food. In this case, everything’s encapsulated in one place. You have LOTS of bars. Lots of good (cheap) food. The only thing missing are cabs. If you have friends near Aggieville, you’re in luck. If you stay at one of the hotels on the outskirts of the city, just remember to wear tennis shoes. Because it’s rare to find a DD.
  • Cheap drinks. We are in a college town, after all.

So if you want to stay closer to home than big events in cities like St. Louis, but want to still have the experience of a huge event, hit up Fake Patty’s. And if you don’t want to go QUITE this big, I found out at the last minute on Saturday that there was a St. Patty’s event in Delano I wish I could have gotten some friends together to attend. It sounds like it was a blast. If anyone attended that, let us know how it was. I think this was my final Fake Patty’s, so next year I’d like to stay EVEN CLOSER to home!

Did you got to Fake Patty’s? If so, what’s your favorite memory this year? Or, in general, the biggest reason you attend?

This is what all the bars look like on the inside: shoulder-to-shoulder people. All the bars we went to had lines outside.

A fish TANK of alcohol. I believe these are like $70. But worry not, big drinker. These feed LOTS of people. I personally find these kinds of drinks a little too sweet for me. But if it’s your thing, this is a fun choice.

The bars are so packed, there’s not much time for busing. So by the end of the day, this is what the tables look like.

Happy Fake Patty’s!


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